They walk among us.

ANOTHER CHAPTER OF “THEY WALK AMONG US AND REPRODUCE!!

Actual call center conversations!

Customer:     ‘I’ve been calling 700-1000 for two days and can’t get through;
Can you help?’
Operator:      ‘Where did you get that number, sir?’
Customer:     ‘It’s on the door of your business.’
Operator:     ‘Sir, those are the hours that we are open.’

———————————————————————-

Samsung Electronics
Caller:          ‘Can you give me the telephone number for Jack?’
Operator:     ‘I’m sorry, sir, I don’t understand who you are talking about.’
Caller:          ‘On page 1, section 5, of the user guide it clearly states that
I need to unplug the fax machine from the AC wall socket and
Telephone Jack before cleaning. Now, can you give me the
Number for Jack?’
Operator:      ‘I think it means the telep hone plug on the wall.’

———————————————————————-

RAC Motoring Services
Caller:         ‘Does your European Breakdown Policy cover me when I am
Traveling in Australia ?’
Operator:   ‘Does the policy name give you a clue?’  

———————————————————————-

Caller (enquiring about legal requirements while traveling in Europe )
‘If I register my car in France , and then take it to England ,
Do I have to change the steering wheel to the other side of the car?’

———————————————————————-

Directory Enquiries
Caller:  ‘I’d like the number of the Argo Fish Bar, please’
Operator: ‘I’m sorry, there’s no listing. Are you sure that the spelling is correct?’
Caller: ‘Well, it used to be called the Bargo Fish Bar but the ‘B’ fell off.’

———————————————————————-

Then there was the caller who asked for a knitwear company in Woven.
Operator:        ‘Woven? Are you sure?’
Caller:             ‘Yes.. That’s what it says on the label — Woven in Scotland …’

———————————————————————-

On another occasion, a man making heavy breathing sounds from a phone box told a worried operator: ‘I haven’t got a pen, so I’m steaming up the window to write the number on.’

———————————————————————-

Tech Support:      ‘I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop.’
Customer:             ‘OK..’
Tech Support:      ‘Did you get a pop-up menu?’
Customer:             ‘No.’
Tech Support:  &nb sp;   ‘OK. Right-Click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?’
Customer:             ‘No.’
Tech Support:      ‘OK, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up                         until this point?’
Customer:            ‘Sure. You told me to write ‘click’ and I wrote ‘click’.’

———————————————————————-

Tech Support:      ‘OK. At the bottom left hand side of your screen, can
You see the ‘OK’ button displayed?’

Customer:       &nbs p;     ‘Wow! How can you see my screen from there?’

———————————————————————-

Caller:  ‘I deleted a file from my PC last week and I just realized that I need it.
So, if I turn my system clock back two weeks will I get my file back again?’

———————————————————————-

This has to be one of the funniest things in a long time. I think this guy should have

Been promoted, not fired. This is a true story from the WordPerfect Helpline, which

Was transcribed from a recording monitoring the customer care department………….. 
Needless to say the Help Desk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing

The WordPerfect organization for ‘Termination without Cause.’

Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee.
(Now I know why they record these conversations!):

Operator:         ‘Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?’
Caller:              ‘Yes, well, I’m having trouble with WordPerfect .’
Operator:         ‘What sort of trouble?’
Caller:              ‘Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away.’
Operator:         ‘Went away?’
Caller:              ‘They disappeared’
Operator:   ;       ‘Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?’
Caller:              ‘Nothing.’
Operator:         ‘Nothing??’
Caller:              ‘It’s blank; it won’t accept anything when I type.’
Operator:         ‘Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?’
Caller:              ‘How do I tell?’
Operator:        ‘Can you see the ‘C: prompt’ on the screen?’
Caller:              ‘What’s a sea-prompt?’
Operator:         ‘Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?’
Caller:               ‘There isn’t any cursor; I told you, it won’t accept anything I type..’
Operator:         ‘Does your monitor have a power indicator?’
Caller:              ‘What’s a monitor?’
Operator:         ‘It’s the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV.
Does it have a little light that tells you when it’s on?’
Caller:               ‘I don’t know.’
Operator:          ‘Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where  the power cord goes into it. Can you see that??’
Caller:               ‘Yes, I think so.’
Opera tor:         ‘Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it’s plugged into the wall..
Caller:              ‘Yes, it is.’
Operator:         ‘When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one? ‘
Caller:               ‘No.’
Operator:          ‘Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable.’
Caller:               ‘Okay, here it is.’
Operator:          ‘Follow it for me, and tell me if it’s plugged securely into the back of your computer..’
Caller:               ‘I can’t reach.’
Operator:          ‘OK. Well, can you see if it is?’
Caller:               ‘No…’
Operator:          ‘Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?’
Caller:               ‘Well, it’s not because I don’t have the right angle — it’s because it’s dark.’
Operator:          ‘Dark?’
Caller:               ‘Yes – the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window.’
Operator:        &nb sp; ‘Well, turn on the office light then.’
Caller:               ‘I can’t..’
Operator:          ‘No? Why not?’
Caller:              ‘Because there’s a power failure.’
Operator:           ‘A power …. A power failure? Aha. Okay, we’ve got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and
packing stuff that your computer came in?’
Caller:       & nbsp;        ‘Well, yes, I keep them in the closet..’
Operator:           ‘Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from.’
Caller:                ‘Really? Is it that bad?’
Operator:           ‘Yes, I’m afraid it is.’
Caller:                ‘Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?’
Operator:           ‘Tell them you’re too damned stupid to own a computer

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